Gratitude.

"If you must look back, do so Forgivingly.

If you must look forward, do so Prayerfully.
However, the wisest thing you can do is
be present in the present....Gratefully." ~Maya Angelou

Powerful words from a powerful woman and so very true. This has been a wondrous and beautiful year. A year where I have been learning to appreciate the beauty of living in the present moment. It isn't as easy as it might sound.

We are all so busy...constantly running, multi-tasking our asses off and, at least in my case, most of that is self-inflicted. I don't need to be that busy...I don't need to make so much work for myself. Recently I have taken a few steps back from things that are unhealthy uses of my time and my family's time as well. At first, I felt less-than, guilty...like I wasn't being a 'good enough' Mom, friend, etc. and then I realized....these aren't my rules I was breaking. I didn't have any rules....I was a product of my environment. The guilt has subsided and I am happy in the knowledge that slowing everything down is good for me...good for my family...just good.

Today in yoga, John said, "It is impossible to think and feel at the same time. We we are so caught up in the thoughts in our head, we are missing the miracle in every precious moment that is happening right now." I realize just how lucky I am to have found this place. I am grateful for it every day of my life. I wish I could put you all in my pocket and take you there so that you could experience the gift of 'waking up' to every beautiful moment.

I have no regrets from this past year...just beautiful memories. And I am excited for the beginning of another year but I won't lean too far into it. I am mostly just grateful beyond words for all of it...the good, the bad, the scary, the beautiful. All of it. I wouldn't change a thing.

"You opened your eyes this morning. You are alive. Once you come in to the awareness of that precious gift, the only appropriate response is gratitude."
~Chris Yax from Tuesday's class

Enjoy this NEW year. Live every moment....
~Namaste.

Shooting Star...

Last night, Corey and I went to a Christmas party at the home of some very good friends. We were standing outside around midnight looking up at the sky when a brilliant bright star went shooting across the sky. It wasn't one of those shooting stars that you aren't quite sure when it is over that it really was a shooting star at all. This was big, bright and amazing. This shooting star was very sure of itself.
When we came home (around 1am), I checked in on my Facebook page to find one of my high school friends, Deonne, writing about the shooting star that she had seen in Chattanooga just before midnight. She was talking about how bright and beautiful it was. We started chatting about it and decided that her star and mine had to be the same. We wanted it to be the same one I think. So from Virginia Beach to Chattanooga, one big sky, one beautiful shooting star. We are truly all connected.

Beautiful Little Nuggets

John Yax ended our yoga class this afternoon with this thought...

"How much of our day do we miss because our mind has shifted someplace else? Stay focused in the present and realize that there are no ordinary moments. There is magic in every moment. Every moment is a miracle."

I haven't been able to get this out of my mind. This isn't the first time I have heard this. John as well as his brother Chris have dropped that little nugget on us in past classes in some form or another. Like most big things though, it takes hearing them a few times for them to click into place for me...to really get it. Today was that day for me. It was the phrasing of it....'How much of our day do we miss'....I don't know about you but I don't want to miss anything. Life seems so big sometimes until you distill it down to individual moments? Then it is more precious...easier to absorb. We think on such a grand scale most of the time that we make it so hard for ourselves to notice the magic.

I think that is my work...to notice...to not 'lean into the next moment' (another Hot House nugget) but be acutely aware of the magic, the miracle happening in every extraordinary moment of every day.

Ahhhhhh.......

Jivamukti in NYC

How time flies...
Last week at this time I was in New York City with my husband Corey and our friends Meg and Tommy. We have gone every year for the last 6 years and we always have a great time. Every trip is so different from the last.

This time Meg and I decided to fore go our usual spa pedicure to go to yoga at Jivamukti instead. We cameback to the hotel early last Thursday night (12:30am) to get rested up. When the alarm went off at 6am, I was really questioning our decision but after we got up and moving, it was fine. Walking through the streets of New York at that hour is pretty peaceful really. That city changes by the hour and I loved walking to class instead of getting in a car and driving. That was centering in itself. As soon as you enter the studio, it is so obvious that you are someplace very special. This was a yoga experience like no other I have had before. Our instructor (Liz) was a cosmic dynamo. The first thing she said to us was, "At Jivamukti, we are all about pulling you out of your comfort zone and making you stretch." Big red flag for me. I like my comfort zone. It's comfortable...She placed candles in front of each of our mats and we began the class with chanting (new to me). As we were warming up, she came around to each of us and rubbed China Gel (similar to Tiger Balm) on our back and shoulders which was very warming. The next 45 minutes were phenomenal. High energy, intense and raw (in a good way). Liz was so energetic and dynamic and at no time during the class did she not have her hands on someone giving incredible adjustments. Clearly she was born to do this and I was so grateful to have gotten the opportunity to practice with her. She ended the class with a mini scalp and neck massage with a lavender oil. We did not want to leave and I had a contented smile on my face for the rest of the day. That will definately be a part of our NYC trip from now on. Aside from the obvious physical benefits of the class, it was good for me to do this. To be pulled out of my comfort zone, to experience something different and love it was needed. Now me and my newly expanded comfort zone are ready for the next challenge...

Renewal

"Even
after
All this time,

the Sun never says to the Earth,
"You owe me."

Look
what happens
with a love like that,
it lights the whole sky." ~Hafiz

This is how I feel today. Hopeful. Inspired. Grateful beyond words. Renewed. YES WE DID!!!

Rolf Gates

Last weekend my yoga studio, Hot House Yoga, brought in Rolf Gates for a weekend long Intensive. Our instructors have trained with Rolf for a number of years and this was my second time participating in one of his workshops at the studio. To say that it was phenomenal is an understatement. He is so very real and approachable. He began each of the 4 sessions with a talk centered around a theme (karma, spiritual practice and transformation) and then we would have a pretty intense yoga practice for between 1 1/2 to 2 hours. sidebar: I would come home completely wiped out and Corey would say, "What did you expect? It's called and Intensive."

Friday was about Karma and conditioning. This was very relevant to a lot of what I am dealing with in my life now. Particularly 'conditioning'. Simply put, conditioning is how our past shapes our future. We have been trained through our past experiences to respond in a certain way to both positive and negative stimulus and by changing our attention, we change our direction and thereby change our destination. So by becoming aware of our patterns of response, we can change the outcome by noticing and responding differently until the new, positive response is our new conditioning. Make sense? I have an example.... there is a posture that I have never been able to do. Reclining hero. When that posture comes around, my reaction is to proceed to exactly the point that I go to every time and I do not try to proceed farther. I have convinced myself that this is as far as I will go and so it is. After Rolf spoke about conditioning and we began our practice, I really made an effort to notice the roadblocks I put in my way. When it came time for hero, I consciously shifted my attitude toward it and wouldn't you know it I was able to do it. It was a shock really. I did not think I was physically able to do it and yet there I was. During final savasana, Rolf was talking about doors (see post below) and our perception and attitude toward them. He said it was our nature to view a door as an obstacle and approach it with aggression when all that was really need was to gently turn the knob and step through. He ended our savasana with this statement..."If you take one step toward the divine, the divine will take ten steps toward you. Just open the door and take that step." I feel a 'door' necklace brewing to the surface....

Happy Birthday Lane!

Today you are 12. I can hardly believe it Lane. Seems like yesterday this was you....


And now....


You have grown into an exceptional human being. Kind and gentle with a fierce wit and wisdom that I have seldom seen in grown ups. Sometimes I look at you and still see that wee boy that you were. It could be a glance you shoot my way or something you say that reminds me that even though you are almost as big as me that you are still a boy. But, if I am honest there are days when I look a you and squint my eyes really tight and I can already see the man you will be. You are honest, fair and just and Lane the way you think about things....really think about them amazes and delights me. The way you devour whatever subject interests you is fascinating. Never lose that. One of my recent favorite moments was watching the debate with you. I couldn't believe it when you asked to stay up and watch it and I almost said no until I realized that at age 11 I would have no sooner asked to watch a Presidential debate as to have a dinner made up of nothing but liver and onions. Watching it with you and listening to your comments was eye-opening and quite funny. You observations were thoughtful, insightful and wise. You know that Meg is sure that you will be the President one day (she has been saying that since you were 7) and watching that debate and listening to you I couldn't help but wonder myself. Personally, I think you are destined for far greater things than that. You will make a difference whatever it is you decide to do. People listen to you already. They respect you and what you have to say. You make being incredibly smart look wickedly cool baby. So to say that I am proud of you doesn't even come close. I can't begin to find words that are adequate to describe what it has meant to me to have you in my life. You made me a Mom and you made us a family on October 24th, 1996. Thank you. Thank you for all the beautiful gifts you have given me every day since then by just being you.
Sidebar: You just woke up (7:15am). Why do you get up early on the days when you can sleep late and on the mornings you need to be up I need a bull horn to raise you? You did say something funny though when I was giving you a hug. You said, "It's the perfect day for my birthday. When I first opened my eyes and looked out the window, the sky was purple, which was my old favorite color, and when I looked again it was blue which is my new favorite color AND we don't have to go to school today."

Happy Birthday my love. I hope your day is all you want it to be. I love you more than I can say so I will close this post with what we started saying to each other when you were 2.
"Buddies forever...pinky promise."

Favorite Words

I love words...love them. Some words I like just because they are fun to say, some because of the feeling they provoke (ooh, that's a good one) Here are some of my favorites...what are yours?


ethereal....lucid...levity...provoke...sassy...handsome...sereptitious...
vapid...sublime...begin...
elucidate ...true...OM.....vessel... dogma...quagmire...commit....surrender....grove...completion...stillness....
alchemy...moxie...journey...mediocrity...molecule....boundless...dare...
authentic...energy...meander...flamboyant...amoxycillan...quirky...benefit...
tincture...balance...velocity...

Too many to list. I have to stop now before my head explodes.

Doors and Keys

"You suppose that you are the lock on the door, but you are the key that opens it." ~Rumi

I love this quote. I have been contemplating it a lot recently as some 'doors' seem to be stuck while others are flinging wide open.

As I was leaving yoga last Thursday, I came out to my car to find my cell phone with about a million missed calls from Kathy (owner of Simply Selma's). There was a lady who was a rep for a several jewelry lines there at the store and Kathy felt that I needed to see one of the lines in particular. She told me the name of the line at which point if I could have climbed through the phone and into the store I would have. It is only about a minute from the Hot House parking lot to Selma's parking lot. I got there in about 30 seconds.

I have wanted this line of jewelry for our store for about a year but when I inquired about it was told that we couldn't have it due to the proximity of another store who already carried it. Now, if you have taken the time to read my previous posts or you just know me.....not a big fan of "No"....not at all. I will turn into a 4 year old before your very eyes. So....still sweaty and completely wrung out from yoga, I beat feet over to Selma's to meet for the first time, Charmaine...a wonderfully funny, no-nonsense lady from New York who reps several jewelry artists from Connecticut to Virginia. For the next 90 minutes we sat in our tiny back room pouring over the Pyrrha jewelry line and carefully selecting our first order. At one point, I sat back in my chair and it hit me....I had really wanted this and now almost a year after asking for it, I got it. So, not my time frame but the universe's instead. That was a big lesson for me.

After gleefully wrapping this order up, Charmaine says, "so you mentioned that you make jewelry...show me something." I showed her a couple of things, told her about my silk-wrap line and she wants to see that as well. I am sending photos and a couple of pieces to her this week. She could begin representing me to her stores as early as January. This is definitely the lady that you would want to represent you. The whole 'selling ice to eskimos' phrase springs to mind. So...look at that would you...doors opening and me being the key....how about that? Thanks Rumi.

The Light...

I can see the light at the end of the tunnel in my application process for the Buyer's Market of American Craft in Philly. It is a fairly intense process that has felt very daunting to me at times. Fortunately I have a lot of support so whether or not I make it there this time or not, it will be alright. This is a phenomenal show...one I have been to for several years now as a buyer for Simply Selma's. I buy all the jewelry for the store and have recently branched out to buying for the entire store as well. Of all the shows that I have attended, Philly is the one that would best seem to suit what I do. I have met some incredibly talented and wonderfully kind people who have been very helpful in this precess like this girl and this one as well. Those who know me know that I don't hear "NO" very easily but I feel very centered and determined regarding this show so if they tell me "NO" this time, they should know that it will only make me more persistent.

Here is one of my heroes that is present at many of the shows I attend...



As you can see I have a problem:


















Which is only a problem in the sense that I need to branch out in my color pallette of Alexis Bittar AND get a bigger bowl to keep in in. I'll keep posting on my progress in my quest for a
10' x 10' section of floor in Philly.

From Conception to Completion

In yoga, our instructors tell us that the most important posture is Savasana. It is the posture that our entire practice has been preparing us for. It is when we can quiet the mind and experience stillness and if possible enter into a meditative state. Here's the problem for me....it is in that posture at the end of class when it seems as though the 'Gods of Creativity' decide to grace me with their presence. My mind is almost never calm, instead it is usually abuzz with thoughts and ideas. In particular, jewelry designs. It has almost completely replaced the shower for me....that's where I used to do my best design work. So the dilemma is this... do I try to quiet my mind and push all those thoughts of the perfect necklace out of my mind knowing that a nice shower awaits me when I get home OR do I let the ideas come? Below I have posted BEFORE & AFTER photos of a necklace that I designed in Savasana. It was the first in what I have lovingly named my "Savasana Collection" for obvious reasons. I love seeing the parts come together into something that I am proud of.

BEFORE:


AFTER:

PJ's vs. Yoga (yoga will always win)

Living in the Tidewater area of Virginia, you get used to some pretty crazy weather. It could be hot, sunny and 85 one day and the next 60's and rainy. Today, we have a Nor'easter blowing in. We knew it was coming. Yesterday, it was so windy all day and today, the same wind is still with us but along with it is the downpour they have been promising. I don't know about you, but waking up to rain makes me want to stay in my pj's all day. I am trying not to think about that because this morning I have yoga. It is the yoga class that I love & dread all at the same time. It is a level 2 class, so much harder than the other classes I take throughout the week. I always have so much fun with it once I am there but there is so much anxiety in getting there. I am discovering that like with other things I fear, it is my attitude toward it that causes the anxiety more than the 'thing' itself. Yesterday in class, before entering a challenging posture, our instructor John asked us to notice our attitude going into the posture and adjust it accordingly. It is truly amazing at how just becoming aware of your attitude and making slight changes to it can change the outcome. So today my work is that. PJ's will wait, I have yoga to do and as John and Chris (our amazing Hot House instructors) always say..."suffering is optional."

Happy 50th Birthday!

This past Sunday was the 50th birthday of the Peace Symbol. We celebrated by going to Peace, Love and Balance (a wonderful store in Virginia Beach) where the owner, Betsey, hosted a party for said symbol. It was quite something. It was a birthday party in the traditional sense in that there was a cake and we sang Happy Birthday with some non-traditional elements as well in that we all formed a circle and Angela Phillips led a prayer for peace. Betsey is a strong advocate for supporting local artists and she has many represented in her store. She carries my 'yoga line' there and not surprisingly one of the best sellers for her has been this:
This necklace is called "Peace Rocks". A polished beach stone with a sterling silver peace symbol. The response to this necklace as well as the trend of peace symbol jewelry, clothing. etc has had me thinking a lot recently. I think that we as a world community are searching. Searching for something that makes us feel good. Cozy. Wearing things like these are not only a reminder for us of what we are searching for but also an outward expression for others as well. Something to make us all feel connected when most of the time the world seems so vast. So rock on Peace Symbol. Here's to another 50. I will leave you with one of my favorite quotes on peace...

"If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other."
~Mother Teresa